Thursday, August 15, 2013

Writer's Workshop- Mama said knock you out

Mama Kat's at it again! Stop over here to join in the fun!

This week's prompts:

1.) 10 Things to Smile About (inspired by Things I Can’t Say)
2.) Tell us about a time you wanted to punch someone in the face.
3.) What were you blogging about last year at this time? What has changed?
4.) Share the story behind your current Facebook and/or Twitter profile photo.
5.) Bake something yummy and share the recipe!

I'm forever threatening to punch someone in the face. I have a low tolerance for stupidity and it seems like the people around me have a high threshold for it.

The most recent time I experienced this was 2 weeks ago. My husband and I were taking my 19 year old nephew and his 18 year old girlfriend (who happens to be my best friend's cousin and I've know her most of her life) to see Blake Shelton. My nephew is one of those kids who thinks that he freakin' knows everything, when in reality, he is King of the Clueless. I love him to death, but he'd probably shrivel up and die if my mom didn't keep him alive (like most teenagers). My nephew has been driving us crazy with his inability to take responsibility for himself and his girlfriend also has that teenage quality about her. Unfortunately, you can't really sit down and talk to either one of them about what you expect from them. Nephew thinks he knows it all and you're stupid and will just walk away from you (which really makes you want to punch him in the face) and Girlfriend gets all sad puppy dog on you.

So any-who, we're stuck in traffic. A 1.5 hour drive literally turned into 5 hours. (5 hours where my bladder almost exploded. It hurt worse than a UTI and when my hubs finally stopped, I couldn't stand upright.) So we had lots of time in the car... just the 4 of us... yay... When my husband said something I didn't want the jabberjaws to hear and repeat to the whole freakin' world (like they will), I said to him "the children are in the backseat," to which Girlfriend says "I'm not a child, I'm 18." BOOM! Thank you Jesus, this is my in to talk about responsibility without having to be like, "hey, you guys need to grow up." It could be nice and general. So I say,"Being an adult isn't about age. It's about responsibility. Managing your money, cleaning up without having to be told, working 40 hours a week and going even when you don't want to..." and my @hole husband says, "Oh yeah, you're not an adult then! I pay the bills and I sweep the kitchen and you don't work 8 hour days" yadda yah. Then he says "What adult things do you do!?!" I replied, "Well, for starters, who keeps the Baby alive?" and my Nephew says "Ma." Now granted, my mother does watch Baby while I'm at my 37.5 hour a week, professional, well-paying job with benefits, but I'm her sole caretaker at home. If I wasn't so desperate to get to the concert, I may have killed him there. What the hell was going on in that head of his??? He knew this was a conversation they needed to have, but he couldn't fight the urge to put me down. So, rather than killing him, I just stopped talking, while he and my Nephew chuckled at their perceived funniness. Then Dear old Husband of mine reached over and tickled my belly and said in baby talk "ohhhh, did I make you mad?" And I screamed....


"YES! I'M TRYING TO MAKE A F*CKING POINT AND YOU CAN'T KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!!!!!!!"

All noise from the backseat ceased. My husband's smile melted and things clicked in his head and he said, "oh." We rode in silence for about 5 minutes when Girlfriend said "If age doesn't make you and adult, what does?" To which I explained about responsibilities and she said, "Oh, then I'm still a kid."

Every time I think about that, I mentally punch my husband in his throat.


Mama’s Losin’ It

4 comments:

Kat said...

Oh boy, I would definitely have had to hold myself back from punching him in the throat! What in the world was he thinking? I sometimes think that men have faulty filters between their brains and their mouths. I hope that he made it up to you in a BIG way

Diane said...

I commend you on your restraint. Truly.

Also? Boys are dumb.

Dyanne @ I Want Backsies said...

You got double-teamed by the boys in the car. Not. Nice.

At least the girlfriend recognized that she is still a kid. Maybe she'll strive to change that....

Renee' Jenkins said...

I felt like I was in that car with you; and knowing exactly how you felt, I would have wanted to punch hubby and nephew in the face... well, maybe just a backhand since they're family.