D-I-E-t

I started a diet. I'm following a loose version of the 21 day fix. I started yesterday and it was rough. I love sweets and my mom sent me to the grocery store... The one with the BEST bakery. It was hard, really hard. So I bought cottage cheese and ate grapes and yelled at my family. And almost quit, but I didn't and I heard the first 3 days are the hardest and today has been easier than yesterday, so I'm hoping that tomorrow is a bit easier yet.

Popsicles and Potato Chips

I went to the Weight Watchers website. Something about Jennifer Hudson being the spokeswomen really inspired me. I don't even listen to her music. I think it's the line in the commercial where she says "I've never been this size in my entire adult life." When I turned 18, I wore an 18. I weighed 180 pounds. By 22, I was into a 22 and by 24, I was wearing a 24. Now I'm 26 and I've kept up the trend... I can't fathom being smaller than an 18. Heck, I can't fathom being a 22 again. My biggest fear with going to Weight Watchers is the stress of trying to plan menus, especially since I've taken to living off banana popsicles and the occasional potato chips this summer. Cooking feels so overwhelming. I don't know how to put meals together. Usually, the Husband won't eat whatever I make ("I don't like it," "I'm not hungry," "That gives me an upset stomach.") so I end up cooking for myself and things aren't designed for just one person. How have people learned how to make "dinners?" My idea of dinner is making a box of mac and cheese and eating that. That's probably 65 points right there.

South Beach Diet

One of my co-workers is doing the South Beach Diet. If you're unfamiliar, during the first 2 weeks of the SBD, you fore go without anything to eat but fish, chicken, veggies and fat-free cheese. No bread, no pasta, no sugars. Impossible. We had a picnic at work- hot dogs, bakes beans, macaroni salad, brownies... so delicious. Do you know what my co-worker ate? Spinach and lettuce with oil and vinegar and celery stalks with low fat string cheese. My problem comes in that 1: I love hot dogs 2: I believe that ranch dressing is a cure-all and you can't eat it on the SBD 3: She looked miserable, sitting there, munching on her celery and I just can't do that. I have a relationship with food. A good one and I'm not willing to lose that. I'm afraid I'll be fat forever.